It is a common occurrence especially in this part of the world to refuse or be indifferent to proposals; especially courtship and marriage proposals. Naijapremiumgist posts Five Ways Single Sisters Say ‘NO’ to Brothers’ Proposals.
- Ignoramus Approach: Here, such ladies will pretend as if they don’t understand what you mean whenever you talk about love.
E.g: Bro: “Sister Elizabeth, I really like your dimple, and your smile makes me think about heaven.”
Sis: “Awwwwwww… Bro Emmanuel, Nice lines you’ve got there. You should be a poet. Well, I like my dimple too. May we never lose sight of heaven, my brother.”
Bro: “What I mean is, I believe you are the one for me.”
Sis: “But I heard that there’s always more than one person for each of us who are God’s children.”
Bro: “True.”
- Judas Methodology: This entails the classic kiss-and-kill style of the biblical son of Iscariot who betrayed Christ. Such sisters send a lovely message full of hope and then kill that tiny hope with a damning followup.
Bro: “I think I’m beginning to like you more and more, Sister Grace.”
Sis: “I really like you too. I especially like your long and firm fingers, and the way you use them to play piano. You must play piano for me and my husband when I marry. Please, say Yes.”
Bro: “But what about what I just said.”
Sis: “Sincerely, I like you too. But I love Bro Victor more than you by far.”
- Ghost Mode: In this method, the sister will ‘ghost’ you completely, they will just swerve your proposal. Sometimes, the brother will even begin to think that she didn’t read or hear the love manifesto.
Bro: “I believe God has led me to you. And I really like to settle down with you as my life partner.”
Sis: “Have you eaten?”
Bro: “Please, I’m serious. Tell me what you think. I really need your response.”
Sis: “This Lagos traffic is something else.”
Bro: “Yeah. But don’t you like me at all?”
Sis: “Have you read the new CNN report on Lekki shooting?”
- Maradona Style: This is common with ladies from a particular tribe in this country which I can’t mention in public. Sisters who adopt this method will leave such brothers confused and bamboozled by the time they finish with him.
Bro: “I am in love with you.”
Sis: “Love? As how?”
Bro: “As in, I really want to marry you and spend my life with you.”
Sis: “When did you start loving me?”
Bro: “About a year ago.”
Sis: “How did you know it was love?”
Bro: “Well, I find myself always thinking about you.”
Sis: “But you think about food all the time too na.”
Bro: “True, but that’s different.”
Sis: “Okay. I like you too sha.”
Bro: “Thank God. I’m very happy. So can we start a relationship?”
Sis: “No.”
Bro: (Scratches head) “Ermm… But I thought you said you love me.”
Sis: (Smiles) “Well I said I like you. I didn’t say I love you.”
Bro: “Ah! Sister Blessing!”
- Philosophers’ Logic: Sisters using this platform to shatter brothers’ hearts usually employ a lot of explanations and critical questions about life. At the end of the proposal, the brother may even start wondering why God created this world of vanity.
Bro: “So, what do you think? Do you also feel the same way I feel about you?”
Sis: “Feelings are a funny thing, I must say. And they are quite ephemeral.”
Bro: “Hmmmm…”
Sis: “Yeah. I mean, look at the case of Samson, do you think Delilah didn’t love him?”
Bro: “Well, I don’t think so.”
Sis: “I beg to disagree. What is love? Let’s start from there. What’s the existential meaning of love?”
Bro: “Hmmmmm…”
Sis: “Do we really feel love, or love feels us? What comes first, humans, or love?”
Bro: “I just want to know how you feel about me.”
Sis: “We will getting to that soon, let’s trash this issue first.”
Bro: “Hmmmm… Na wa o”
We believe the piece is amusing and highly instructive.
