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Clergyman Mike Bamiloye shared a post on his Instagram page about heaven and the ”most common words” used there.
A Facebook user stumbled upon his post and asked a rather cheeky question, stating ”Where is heaven? Has anyone been there?”
Bamiloye saw the question and gave an interesting response. See below…
Controversial Lesbian, Gay, Bi-S*xual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ+) activist, Bisi Alimi has opined that no Nigerian will make heaven.
According to the LGBTQ+ activist, most Nigerians will not make heaven for reasons he failed to specify.
Speaking via his Instagram stories on Thursday, the unapologetic same-sex marriage advocate stated that Nigerians often claim to have ‘admission into heaven’ due to their religious lifestyle and how they often demand rapture to come in time.
Bisi Alimi wrote:
“The way Nigerians beg for rapture to happen, you will think they already have admission into the so called heaven”
He continued:
“But I got news for you!
No one in Nigeria will make heaven (that’s even if there is anything like heaven in the first place), not even ghetto heaven.”
Popular traditionalist and sex therapist, Angela Nwosu says that she doesn’t want to make heaven because it’d be boring and unbearable to be in.
She shared her thoughts about the afterlife on Facebook, saying that the likelihood of certain religious personalities making Heaven is an unwelcome idea to her.
The relationship and lifestyle advisor said she would rather spend eternity with famous singers like Fela, Davido or Wizkid, than spend it with prominent clergymen.
She added that her husband is the only “God” that she believes in and she wouldn’t allow Jesus Christ to dictate how she should live her life.
Angela wrote; “I don’t want to make heaven!
If heaven is where Pastor Adeboye, Kumuyi, David Oyedepo and all other religious leaders and people will go to after death, then I reject it with every fibre of my being. Heaven will sure be a very boring and unbearable place to be in, full of fake people and extortionists and heartless people. I want to be where Fela is and would be happy to see Davido, Wizkid, Tekno, etc, join me there.
The thing about me is I don’t ever want to be like you. You don’t believe that you can live the way that I do. Seriously, you act like life’s a recital from the bible and once you reach the end you won’t know where the time goes. I’m living through my flows so please enjoy the show. No Jesus above tells me how to live my life, I do this for me, am not ashamed, I do not hide. I already have a God that turns me on with reckless abandon. He’s the God that I see and believe in and his name is Emeka.
So Save your prayers for your mothers, I’m doing fine, the last thing on my mind is the afterlife. The time is now, I live in the moment. I only think with logic, so keep your bleeping preaching, pity and emotions. I can never be broken even if I’m lost in the ocean, I still won’t give a Bleep where I’m supposedly going, ighotago? For real, I don’t want to spend eternity with any of you. Death is the only thing promised to us at birth. Save your ‘may God have mercy on you’ for your sisters that are doing abortions, for your brothers raping kids, for small girls with big God knacking other women’s husbands, for your pastors and your village people.
There’s no time to waste once you enter this World, If you ask me, there is no afterlife and when I die, I will be satisfied with who I am and what I leave behind!
Udo.
Angela Nwosu”
Controversial Nigerian rapper, Naira Marley has expressed concerns after he appeared as number 1 on a list of people will not make it to heaven.
A Twitter user simply known as The Sheriff Of Calabar took to the micro-blogging site to post a list of 10 personalities who he believes are not making it to heaven.
Naira Marley topped the list as the first person which had names like Tacha, Buhari and Speed Darlington.
The Sheriff’s tweet read:
List of people that won’t make Heaven.
”1. Naira Marley
2. Tacha
3. Buhari
4. All APC members
5. Obasanjo
6.Tinubu
7. All arsenal FC
8. Daddy Showkey
9. Speed Darlington
10. MI”
Reacting, Naira Marley asked: ”But why me?”
Good day Nigerians. Our gist early this morning features the words of Rev Kunle Ajayi
I was told this story about a Reverend Father who was being sent forth after 30 years of ministry in Nigeria.
At his “send forth” he was asked to say a word and he said plenty. He said “Nigeria is like heaven” why?
That first day at the church, the padre was presented a brand new Morris Marina car. Church told him they would pay for driver, fuel, maintenance and service, but any damages will be paid for from the padre’s pay.
Fada agreed and no sooner did they step out of the church at Yaba than a Danfo driver began to strive with them in the ensuing go-slow. The struggle ended finally with a brutal dent on the fender as the broken headlight of the new Morris dangled from a collision courtesy of the crazed Danfo driver.
Instantly, the Danfo driver got down from his bus, examined the damage, placed his two hands on his head and wept bitterly. Shortly after that he fainted face down by the side of the oyinbo man’s window.
Turning to his driver, the terrified Fada asked for explanations as to the fainting. He was informed that prostrating was a Nigerian apology not a medical condition.
“He is sorry, sir.” Padre’s driver explained.
“Very very sorry!” He repeated.
“I see. That is good. Can you please tell him to get up from the floor?” Padre answered relieved.
Danfo driver got up, thanked the padre profusely and began to walk away.
“Where is he going?” Padre asked, blinking.
” Away, sir. The matter has ended.” Driver explained.
“How? Why?” Fada asked.
“He has begged you and you accepted.” Driver explained a bit exasperated.
“So who is paying for my car?” Oyinbo asked
“You, sir!” The driver retorted.
“Me? But I thought you SAID HE WAS SORRY.” Padre recalls.
“He is, sir, but you are the big man, and he is a small man. U have forgiven him.”
“Where I come from, when you damage something and you are SORRY. The first thing you do is repair or restore it. Anybody can feign being sorry to escape the consequences of their errors.” The JJC announced.
“Is not like that here sir.”The Morris driver explained. “Here in Nigeria, sorry excuses you from all liabilities. Sorry is an art. An act. A trump card you play once nemesis appears imminent. You can damage anything, Wreck any havoc. You quiickly say sorry, and you can walk away under the sorry canopy without repairing anything.”
“The victim bears the consequences? You just walk away?” Oyinbo asked
“Yessir!” The driver grinned. This oyinbo na fass learner..
After 30 years, the white man informed us, he had concluded Nigeria was a strange place to be. You guys are peculiar people, he said. I can never get over Nigeria, he said, weeping.
Wow, Nigeria is like heaven. Offenders can always repent and get away for free without righting their wrongs. The people forgive over and over again, and vote yesterday’s thieves and killers over and over again. If you know your way, all your sins are forgiven. All you have to do is prostrate for the right people.”
Just like heaven. Jesus is a big man. Once you are sorry, He will bear the cost of your damages and offences while you walk away.”
