Many children, teens, youths and young adults have been abused over time and in many ways. The most prominent is the sexual abuse. Many found their way back on track and their lives have taken a turn for better while others’ lives got ruined in the process. The level of sexual harassment isn’t getting any lower in the society today rather, we have lots of victims. Many victims have been silenced by threat , shame or stigma, while some have found the courage to speak out “sòrò sókè” .
At this point, I need to make bare the painful but true story of an old friend.
He was a young, naive 200 level student of a University back then. He had friends who were just like him, they go out together as chaps. There was an older lady, a companion also and they sometimes go out as friends with the older lady who happened to be like an elder sister to them.
She was a very polite lady in her early 30’s. This lady discussed with the boys, shared her thoughts and encouraged them to face various challenges fearlessly. She was a mentor to them and they saw her like someone who cared for their wellbeing. The lady however had keen interest in my friend than the other boys. She told him about her abusive relationship with Dan. According to her and as explained by my friend , she was about to be married to Dan but she called it quits because Dan beats her at the slightest opportunity.
My friend must have thought it was an auspicious day when this older lady friend invited him for a drink at the beach. Alas he was so wrong and worse still so vulnerable because unknown to him, he was about to have a drink with the devil’s incarnate. How would he have thought that she could be so mean, heartless, callous and super devilish to do something so demeaning? As soon as he got to the beach , she offered him a drink and no sooner had he started to drink than he began to feel weak and dizzy. She offered to help him get home. He was however not conscious of what was happening around him and she took him to her apartment where she sexually harassed him in his unconscious state. She RAPED him.
Rape according to an online information disseminator is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent.The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.
He respected her, trusted her and believed she cared much for him and his friends. My friend really had nothing to worry about thinking she had good intentions but on the contrary, she drugged him and sexually assaulted him. He woke up after lying unconscious for 3days in her appartment with very serious pain all over his genitals.
She pretended and put up the act of crying, claiming she didn’t hurt him on purpose and it was the devil’s doing. Why do people blame the devil for everything? Are we humans or wild animals? Humans have the ability of being compassionate but wild animals will always hunt regardless. This is a woman who was about to be married to a man who often beats her, she could have understood better what it meant to be physically abused. Is she better than the man who beat her? It just turned out that her fiance was the devil’s incarnate and she was the devil herself.
He told his friends but they laughed at him, he told his best friend but she broke up her friendship with him . Why do victims suffer more for being victims? He wasn’t lucky, he trusted her and never thought that he would find himself in such a dilemma. If his friends didn’t belive his story, who then could have believed that he was raped by a woman?
Oh , the story isn’t over yet…few days later, she sent him a text and asked him to send his bank account number but instead, she got blocked by the victim. He blocked her right away because he knew it was a rape case and didn’t consent to it. So then, why did she want to pay him knowing that what happened wasn’t as a result of a mutual agreement? Of course, he wasn’t a muttonhead and he knew the reason for which she wanted to send him some money. He was broken but now stronger. His friends left him, no one believed him. Who will listen to victims, who will believe them?
Today my friend is doing fine after he had put that ugly occurrence behind him and moved on. It was pretty difficult for him to get over the emotional and physiological pain , as he had flashbacks frequently. I tell you, the most difficult pain to get rid of is the “emotional/psychological pain”. Only time can heal such pain.
He is a living witness today of the words which states that , ” tough moments don’t last but tough people do”. Everyday for him feels happier ever since he forgot about the ugly past, now he is stronger , better and much more sensitive to danger.
