Good day Nigerians. Our gist early this morning features the words of Rev Kunle Ajayi
I was told this story about a Reverend Father who was being sent forth after 30 years of ministry in Nigeria.
At his “send forth” he was asked to say a word and he said plenty. He said “Nigeria is like heaven” why?
That first day at the church, the padre was presented a brand new Morris Marina car. Church told him they would pay for driver, fuel, maintenance and service, but any damages will be paid for from the padre’s pay.
Fada agreed and no sooner did they step out of the church at Yaba than a Danfo driver began to strive with them in the ensuing go-slow. The struggle ended finally with a brutal dent on the fender as the broken headlight of the new Morris dangled from a collision courtesy of the crazed Danfo driver.
Instantly, the Danfo driver got down from his bus, examined the damage, placed his two hands on his head and wept bitterly. Shortly after that he fainted face down by the side of the oyinbo man’s window.
Turning to his driver, the terrified Fada asked for explanations as to the fainting. He was informed that prostrating was a Nigerian apology not a medical condition.
“He is sorry, sir.” Padre’s driver explained.
“Very very sorry!” He repeated.
“I see. That is good. Can you please tell him to get up from the floor?” Padre answered relieved.
Danfo driver got up, thanked the padre profusely and began to walk away.
“Where is he going?” Padre asked, blinking.
” Away, sir. The matter has ended.” Driver explained.
“How? Why?” Fada asked.
“He has begged you and you accepted.” Driver explained a bit exasperated.
“So who is paying for my car?” Oyinbo asked
“You, sir!” The driver retorted.
“Me? But I thought you SAID HE WAS SORRY.” Padre recalls.
“He is, sir, but you are the big man, and he is a small man. U have forgiven him.”
“Where I come from, when you damage something and you are SORRY. The first thing you do is repair or restore it. Anybody can feign being sorry to escape the consequences of their errors.” The JJC announced.
“Is not like that here sir.”The Morris driver explained. “Here in Nigeria, sorry excuses you from all liabilities. Sorry is an art. An act. A trump card you play once nemesis appears imminent. You can damage anything, Wreck any havoc. You quiickly say sorry, and you can walk away under the sorry canopy without repairing anything.”
“The victim bears the consequences? You just walk away?” Oyinbo asked
“Yessir!” The driver grinned. This oyinbo na fass learner..
After 30 years, the white man informed us, he had concluded Nigeria was a strange place to be. You guys are peculiar people, he said. I can never get over Nigeria, he said, weeping.
Wow, Nigeria is like heaven. Offenders can always repent and get away for free without righting their wrongs. The people forgive over and over again, and vote yesterday’s thieves and killers over and over again. If you know your way, all your sins are forgiven. All you have to do is prostrate for the right people.”
Just like heaven. Jesus is a big man. Once you are sorry, He will bear the cost of your damages and offences while you walk away.”
